Vending Machine Coffee

I once spent a year in a long distance relationship. And I'm not talking about, an hour's drive away. That's not distance. If you can't make an hour or two work, you're just not that interested (or they don't kiss well...either way...).

By long distance, I mean I spent 12-14 hours driving anytime I wanted to see this girl. And yes, it was worth it each time.

And of course, I would pack my snacks (or have money to stop with). I'd buy a cup of Dunkin Donuts coffee before setting out. Once I even had a thermos filled up by those helpful guys. But eventually, the coffee you started with is going to run out; if you finish a 13 hour drive with the same cup of coffee you started with, there's a serious problem.

Now the problem I had, because I never finished with the same cup of coffee. Look at my typical route:



I travel through a whole lot of NOTHING in Indiana, then hit Chicago, then a whole lot of NOTHING in N. Illinois and Wisconsin. I mean, seriously. It amazes me that there can be so little, for so long at a time. Especially in Wisconsin. I mean, nothing but trees.

So where can I stop for some decent coffee? Maybe Chicago...but really, have you ever tried to drive through Chicago? No? If you ever do, you'll understand that once you're in the flow of traffic...you won't want to ever leave it. There's no excuse for ever pulling off the highway (assuming the traffic lets you get off the road in the first place). You'll have to merge back on...and...um. Damn. Suffice it to say it's not worth stopping in Chicagoland for coffee.

This leaves me with really just one option: Rest stop vending machines.

The trick with vending machines is to not take the standard coffee. It'll have caffeine, but taste absolutely AWFUL. I mean, gross. I mean, you'll never touch coffee again after drinking plain coffee from a vending machine. Especially if it's one in the middle of nowhere Wisconsin that gets a visit once every two weeks for a fresh-up.

So what's that leave you with? The flavored stuff. French vanilla. English toffee. I once had a memorable experience with a "Butterfinger" flavored coffee drink. They cost a bit more, but are totally worth it. You get the caffeine, but none of the truly gross flavor.

That's my official advice, the path I take whenever I'm faced with a vending machine-or-nothing situation. You're welcome to it.